my UN-academic fall

It's still weird and amazing not being in school/studying/writing papers.

Since my last post, I've worked 2 weeks as a straight-up nurse...no more orientation. I had a preceptor who is an excellent nurse and a very good teacher, but it was lovely to "graduate." I was sailing through my last few weeks on orientation, a little nervous but mostly excited to fly solo. I was anticipating stress from not knowing all the answers and feeling unprepared to make decisions, but very willing to ask my experienced co-workers for help.

I didn't, couldn't anticipate what the burden of responsibility, SOLE responsibility, would feel like. I am the final authority now and what I do and do not do to my patients has lasting consequences. The stress is palpable. I have to consciously choose positive moments to focus on to propel me forward. The picture a little boy colored for me. Getting a WOW card from a patient's mother about the excellent care her baby received. Otherwise, I would drown in everything that's less than perfect. It's time management, trying to be in 3 places at once, that is just out of my grasp. I can be 1 patient's excellent nurse, but add the standard 2 and then all my kiddos get only 1/3 of me. I have to start IV fluids on 1 baby while thinking of my other baby's fever and wondering how my asthmatic kid is breathing. I know I can be good at this, maybe great at this, but it's frustrating seeing the long, long path ahead.

The decision-making part, though? Kind of a rush. When my train of thought ends at, "well, I'm the nurse, so I guess this is my call," I get a little bit excited. I'm sure that will wear off, as all novelties do, but in the meantime, I do have to be grateful to Truman for building the foundation for some good ole critical thinking skillzzzzzzz. Or maybe I need to give myself more credit - I could have had those in the first place.

This month, all I did was work and travel:

• 2 Kirksville weekends.
• 2 Homecomings (Truman & Mizzou).
• 2 13-hour road trips.
• 2 times my ID was lost and relocated.
• 1 wedding (Kristina, one of my best friends from college).
• 1 unbelievable Tiger victory over #1 OU.
• 1 trip to Chicago booked for December ($60 round-trip airfare? Yes, please).
• 1 Halloween without a costume (working, which is a tragedy because I was gonna be Snooki).