life insurance and 24-gauge needles

Do I feel settled? The question was posed to me tonight by a friend who is weeks away from moving to New York to become a star (and really, she will be). It's interesting to compare our lives. We graduated from the same high school, and we both graduated from college this year. And we are both beginning our careers this year, but my beginning could also feel like an end. I do in fact have full-time status, benefits, and a whole bunch of new scrubs. I work 1 weekend a month and 2 holidays a year. I pack a lunch in the evening before leaving the house and have the windows in my room blocked off with pillows so I can sleep during the day. I spent my first paycheck on new tires.

But settled? No. My life is still changing too much to feel settled, and I like it that way. There are still so many places for me to go, figuratively and literally. I'm not going to feel settled at work for a long time, I know that for sure. I'm very much back in the student role, which I both appreciate and loathe. Wearing the big blue "RN" badge is dangerously empowering...I can't wait to do things my own way, but there's way too much I don't know.

I did start an IV on a 3-week-old baby girl the other day, though. It was an awkward mess coming out of her tiny foot, but...it flushed and it stayed. I love the babies (even when they hate me for sticking them with needles).