i might see someone die tomorrow.
my assigned patient has a "grim prognosis," according to his doctor, and his nurse doubts he'll make it through the night, because he was unresponsive today and had no urine output. he's from a nearby nursing home and his wife is usually with him during the day, but leaves at night. tonight i was copying information from his chart and was struck with a wave of sadness as i contemplated the possibility of him dying alone tonight.
i feel like i know this man just after reading his extensive charts and going into his room to introduce myself and pat his hand while he slept. i very much hope he lives through the night so i can be his student nurse tomorrow. i think patients who have student nurses receive better care than others, mostly because of the ratio...we have only one patient so we get to spend more time with them. i don't want this patient to die, but if he must i would like someone to be there with him. and tomorrow it would be me.
truman nursing students may be over-prepared in the area of death and dying because we have one professor who loves to talk about it more than anything else. i don't think i will feel at all prepared when i actually witness it but i do know that the sense of hearing is the last to go and i'd like someone to be talking to this patient, touching him, just being there with him in his last moments. tonight i prepared more than i ever have for clinical and most likely i will not need any of this information tomorrow morning. but if this patient survives, i want to be ready for him.
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